


The breast laid plans...

by a_dot_burr_ell



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Crack, F/F, Writer's Block
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_dot_burr_ell/pseuds/a_dot_burr_ell
Summary: Kara is taken aback to discover that Lena loves boob jokes.





	The breast laid plans...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Poppyssupergirl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Poppyssupergirl).



> I was getting stuck on my other fic so I asked for a prompt to help with my block. This is the result.

The first time it happened Kara chalks it up to the bottle and a half of wine Lena had consumed and the excitement of Pictionary. The word was ‘mushroom’ and Kara leaped up from the couch, grabbing the pen from James.

“Okay, _readysetgo_.” Winn sped through the words, turning the timer over before she had the chance to turn the oversized notepad to a fresh page.

“Hey,” Kara protested, scrambling to uncap her marker. “That’s cheating!”

“Too late, no take backs!” James added, clapping his hands.

“But—” She started.

“Kara, just go!” Lena shouted, half out of her seat.

“Fine!” Kara turned back to the easel. What did earth mushrooms look like again? She’d never really used them while cooking and only saw them one time when Cat had served stuffed mushroom caps at a party. She touched pen to paper and made one large pass with the marker in a circle.

“A ball!” Lena guessed. “Basketball! Baseball! A tennis ball!” Kara shook her head, pointing with her pen to the shape she’d drawn. “The sun! A pie! A cake!” With each guess, Lena’s voice rose another octave, her usually pale cheeks flushed excitement.

“No!” What else could she add to make it more recognizable as a mushroom? She tried to recall what theushroom cap looked like and added a much smaller circle in the middle.

“Boobs!” Lena shouted, her hands thrown up in anticipation of victory. “One giant boob!”

“And time!” James interjected, pointing to the empty time glass.

On the other side of the room, Alex and Sam roared with laughter while Winn wiped his chin from the wine he’d spit out in surprise.

Kara gaped. “Lena, what kind of guess was that? Why would that be it?!”

“Well, what was it supposed to be? Because that just looks like a boob!” She tilted her head to the left. “And kind of a lopsided one at that.”

“Hey, that’s rude,” Alex said. “You don’t know what that boob’s been through!”

“I’d like to,” Lena quipped, waggling her eyebrows.

Kara sputtered. “It’s supposed to be a mushroom!”

“Has a fungi ever been the topic of such _tit_ ulating conversation?” Lena drawled, dropping back down into her seat.

And the group dissolved into a new round of laughter.

* * *

A few weeks later, Kara was sitting up against the headboard of her bed, trying to unwind before she went to sleep. As so often happened nowadays, her mind drifted to Lena. It wasn’t that long ago that she’d finally revealed her double identity to her best friend; the need to be honest with Lena finally outweighed Kara's fear of losing her friend.

Before she could stop herself, Kara grabbed her phone and navigated to her message log with Lena. She’d barely seen Lena today, too busy chasing down a lead and fighting crime while Lena covered for Sam at L-Corp.

Kara’s fingers hovered over her keyboard. Should she text her? It was after eleven-thirty already.

Sighing, Kara began typing out a message figuring that if Lena was sleeping the notification would still be there in the morning.

_11:36 p.m._   
_Hey! I missed seeing you today! Do you want to get together this weekend? Maybe binge watch Person of Interest?_

Kara hit send before she remembered that this week was a holiday weekend.

_Or do you already have plans for Easter?_ She added, hitting the return button and typing out a rabbit out of keyboard symbols.

_(\ /)_   
_(oYo)_   
_( u u )o_

Kara watched as a bubble with three pulsating dots appeared beneath her messages. She was awake!

_Received at 11:37 p.m._   
_Boobs?_

Kara’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. Why would Lena text her that? What did boobs even have to do with their conversation? Another bubble appeared and a moment later a second message appeared.

_Received at 11:38 p.m._   
_Sorry. I didn’t scroll all the way to the top and without the ears it kinda just looks like 2 sets of boobs. Sure. I’m open this weekend._

Kara let out a strangled chuckle. There, just a misunderstanding.

_Okay_ , she typed back. _Saturday night. My place._

_Received at 11:38 p.m._   
_it’s a date ;)_

Kara tossed her phone onto her nightstand and tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.

* * *

If Kara thought Lena’s newfound habit of mentioning breasts would be contained to drunken game nights or misunderstood texts messages, she was sorely mistaken. Whenever something remotely similar came up in conversation, Lena was quick to segue. From simple puns—Kara, you’re my _breast_ friend!—to more subtle one-liners.

_Sam slammed Ruby’s report card down. “I don’t understand how she could go from an ‘A’ to a ‘D’ practically overnight.”_

_Lena shrugged, a wicked smile on her face. “Happened to me in the eighth grade.”_

_“Lena!”_

Finally, Kara decided to broach the subject while they were eating lunch on CatCo’s terrace.

“What is going on with you?” Kara asked, pushing her meatloaf around her plate.

“What do you mean?” She asked, poking at her salad with her fork.

“I mean,” Kara continued “I’ve noticed you making a lot of jokes lately. About breasts.”

I guess they’re just _nip_ slips, Kara.” Lena snickered. “I mean…Freudian slips, Kara.” She tried to hide her smile behind her fork.

Kara waited patiently for her to stop.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.” Lena’s mood turned serious. “Does it bother you? Because I can stop.”

Kara shook her head. “No, it doesn’t bother me. I guess it’s just different. You’re not usually so…” Kara was at a loss for the way to describe it. “Jokey.”

At that Lena smiled warmly. “I’ve just been keeping certain sides of me hidden for years. I suppose you could say you’re coming out helped me realize that I don’t have to keep those parts of myself hidden from you either.”

Kara smiled. “I guess I wasn’t thinking about it that way. But are you saying what you’ve kept hidden all this time are bad boob puns?”

“I guess they’re more at the forefront of my mind since I’ve decided to start dating women.” Lena prompty took a bite of her lunch.

Kara choked on her meatloaf.

* * *

Weeks later when Kara had mustered up the courage to kiss Lena after a particularly bad pun (my favorite way to swim is the _breast_ stroke, Kara) and they’d made their way down the hallway, shedding their clothes in the process and trying not to trip, (Don’t slip on my bra, Kara, we don’t want to get caught in a _booby_ trap!) Kara realized that she never wanted to stop hearing those corny jokes.

* * *

Bonus:

Lena: What kind of bees make milk? Boobies!

Kara: Lena, you’re a scientist.


End file.
